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The real determining factor in buying books on tape is the total cost. That is what determines real value. Total cost is not just price for books on tape, but what you'll actually get for the price. Most people think the most important determining factor in a sale is the price. But recent studies show that consumers ranked price no higher than 9th and, on average, 13th in its level of importance.

So before you jump at the lowest priced books on tape around, think about what the real value is to you. Most people won't buy the lowest priced books on tape item because they've had bad experiences with cheapies in the past. We offer only the very highest quality and still at a most affordable price. Spasms & Spamocidal Mania

 by: Linda Cox

Below is a letter I wrote to the following organizations:

S.H.U. (Spam-Haters Unanimous)

N.A.A.P.W.H.S. (National Association for the Advancement of People Who Hate Spam)

P.W.H.P.W.D.H.S. (People Who Hate People Who Don't Hate Spam)

P.F.W.S.H.I.A.L.C. (People for Whom Spam-Hating is a Lifestyle Choice)

S.A.P.W.R.R.R.H.S. (Society for the Advancement of People Who Really Really Really Hate Spam)

P.W.H.S.S.M.I.M.L.W.S.C.O.T.E. (People Who Hate Spam So Much It Makes Little Wisps of Steam Come Out of Their Ears)

And, of course: Spam Haters In The Business of Internet Resource Directory Services.

DEAR FELLOW SPAM HATERS,

I'm writing to suggest that we combine forces in order to present a common front in our righteous war on unsolicited commercial email:

Spam!

I suggest we disband the myriad sites and organizations now opposing unsolicited commercial email in order to form a single, unified organization:

The Spammish Inquisition!

And I further suggest we elect me, Linda Cox, as our leader. Our Grand Inquisatrix!

WHAT ARE MY QUALIFICATIONS?

You think YOU hate spam? You don't even know what hate is!

I hate spam so much that I... well, just a LOT! That's how much!

If I hated spam any more than I already do, I think my head would burst into flames and spin like a top! Can you say that?

Don't think so.

I don't mean to say that I don't hate other things too, like pedophiles and nazis and that drunk guy who backed over my cat when I was seven.

But spam... hooboy!

SQUISH 'EM LIKE BUGS!

I believe we should have a constitutional amendment allowing cruel and unusual punishment in the case of spammers. Maybe that tummy thing like the Japanese do when they get depressed.

As with drugs, mere possession of bulk emailing software should result in the immediate confiscation of the computer it was on, as well as any nice clothes, jewelry, or lawn statuary that might have been purchased with spam profits.

Just thinking about sending spam should be illegal, like joking about bombs in an airport. If I get to be Grand Inquisatrix, I'll have my own force of men-in-black dudes to sniff out spamsters and be really mean to them and call them names until they promise to be good little netizens again.

It's for their own good.

IN CLOSING...

Having looked at the websites of some of the anti-spam crusaders, I know that I am not alone in my revulsion, disgust and utter skin-crawling contempt for spam.

Like them, I have turned a blind-eye to more mundane problems like hunger, illiteracy, disease, country music and poverty so as to focus on the true menace ravaging our cyber-society.

If you wish to support my crusade, you may do so by sending me $99, and as a free gift I'll send you a CD with the email addresses of 40 million netizens eagerly awaiting news of your latest product or service.

Linda Cox, G.I.W. (Grand Inquisatrix Wannabe)

P.S. Oh yeah... stale croutons. Hate 'em.

About The Author

Linda Cox (J.A.M.G.) was born in a speeding stagecoach amid the screams of fellow passengers as insane, wild-eyed horses dragged them all crashing toward the brink of destruction. That stagecoach was the planet Earth, those passengers were the human race, and Linda Cox is Just Another Marketing Guru. (The horses were just regular horses.) http://www.LindaCox.com/

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The Internet abounds with all sorts of information on books on tape, but unless you can be reasonably sure of its source and accuracy, be wary. For example, information about books on tape posted in Internet newsgroups can be flawed. Even if the books on tape document contains great technical detail, there is often no hard evidence to back up the claims. Don't make the mistake of accepting gossip as truth, which may prove to be professionally and financially embarrassing.

While embarrassment is rarely fatal, more serious consequences can result from following books on tape advice posted in newsgroups or on websites. While someone may be well-meaning in offering the information, can you trust it? Is this person a books on tape consumer who has actually purchased and used the products or are they just an opinionated individual? Or are they a competitor?
WDBZ's Mr. Listen On The Net WDBZ's Mr. Listen On The Net WDBZ's Mr. Listen On The Net WDBZ's Mr. Listen On The Net WDBZ's Mr. Listen On The Net WDBZ's Mr. Listen On The Net

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